GRADUATING FROM FRIEND TO LOVER
HOW TO GRADUATE FROM FRIEND TO LOVER,
FOR GUYS
Flirting moves are not hard to do: it’s not physically difficult to
wink or to look into a
Woman’s eyes. But flirting moves can be
challenging if you are not used to doing them.
1) LOOK INTO HER EYES “FOR LONG”
This is simply holding eye contact a little bit
longer than you normally would. While you are conversing with her, you want to
be sure to have eye contact at least some of the time. At least once it’s a
good idea to hold the eye contact a little “too long,” just a fraction too
long, so there’s a brief, more intimate moment between you.
2) MAKE DECISIONS EASILY
It’s important to make sure that you make
decisions easily. Remember your outcome: romantic feelings, and moving the
seduction along. This means that making a decision quickly is more important
than choosing the perfect type of coffee, or taking the time to really think
about whether you want cherry Danish or a plain one. By making decisions
quickly, you show her that you are a decisive man who she won’t have to take
care of.
3) WINK AT HER
You can wink at someone from across the room, or
wink at someone during a conversation. If she says something funny, or someone
else does something silly, you can give a wink as a way of sharing a little
moment for just the two of you, as if the two of you are in on some private joke
no one else is aware of.
4) CHECK OUT HER BODY
Checking out her body must be done properly. The
goal is for your new friend to feel complimented that you noticed her body, not
objectified like some piece of meat. You do this by making eye contact, then
quickly, in less than a second, passing your eyes down and then up over her
body, then back to looking in the eyes. It should happen quickly, and you
should be unashamed of taking a glance. Just don’t do it too often—two times
during a coffee date, for instance, is plenty.
5) KEEP YOUR BODY POWERFUL
Women want to be with men who are engaged in their
lives. You’ll appear even more engaged if you sit, stand and move like you are
both fascinated and fascinating. As a bonus, moving as if you are totally
engaged with and turned on by life will perk you up and give you more energy for
the interaction.
6) COMPLIMENT HER
You want to cultivate complimenting her as a
potential lover, not as a tepid friend. Let’s talk briefly about the
difference: A man who is destined to be a woman’s friend compliments her by saying
something like, “you have a very nice briefcase.” The compliment doesn’t show
that he is interested in her romantically, or that he notices anything romantic
about her. Put another way, it’s a compliment another woman might give to her.
If you give a woman a compliment that another woman might give her, you might
as well be another woman, striking up a casual friendship.
You want to make it clear that you are a man who
is noticing her as a woman, rather than an amorphous blob of undefined
protoplasm who might as well be another woman talking to her.
A man who is committed to being seen as a
potential lover gives compliments that show that he notices her as a woman.
Rather than saying, “You have a nice briefcase” he’ll say something like “You
have beautiful eyes,” or “Your smile is so beautiful, it lights up the room.”
At first it may be uncomfortable for you to
compliment her, that is okay—keep going, keep taking the risk, and up the
passion in your compliments. Yes, you are risking rejection, but that’s good!
Remember the rejection process, and remember to celebrate your victories!
7) WHISPER TO HER/LEAN INTO HER SPACE
Whispering to her doesn’t mean you have to get all
the way up to her ear…it may be too early in your interaction with her to get
that close. But you can lean into her space, and lower the volume of your
voice, to share something with her.
